I don’t know how much ‘Rene wants to see me. I think she might think of me as a traitor, the way I went and turned my back on her and everything connected with my past life. I had to make my own way. It wasn’t easy for me, growing up with my father’s drunkenness and abuse. And when I saw him lying there dead in a pool of blood on the barroom floor, something inside me kind of clicked. I felt I had to escape that squalor and violence, and I thought passing myself for a white woman would put me in a better, kinder world. But I see I was wrong. I think ‘Rene made the better choice, to stay and marry a black man. Lord knows, ‘Rene is happier than I.

I wrote to ‘Rene again, asking her to see me. I hope I see her soon. I’m so lonely in the hollow life I went and got.

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